Saturday, July 04, 2015

Ask Liz: Nixing New In-Laws?

A few of my brides are trying to figure out how and if to politely cut their guest list. So, if you're in the same boat, here are some pointers from a BAB post I wrote a while back...

Only so many chairs...
Photo: B&G Photography

Dear Liz, 

My fiance and I are planning a wedding with an extremely tight budget and agreed that we would limit our guests to immediate family to cut cost. My fiance’s family is relatively small and scattered around the country, so most of them probably wouldn’t be able to make it anyway. By inviting only parents, siblings, and grandparents, I get pretty much everyone I would want to see on my wedding day, minus my step-cousin’s screaming toddler. Sounds like a great plan, right?

Not as easy as it sounds. When my mom remarried I inherited a large, unruly mob of opinionated aunts, uncles, cousins, and one particularly pushy grandmother. A few of my cousins have already asked me about the wedding date and sound like they’re planning to attend. But, I’m not planning on inviting them. I’m a people pleaser and I dread having to turn them down…so far I’ve just been non-committal, but I know that can’t last.
Do you have any advice on a tactful way to let friends and extended family know that they won’t be getting an invite?

Guilty Conscience

Hey Guilty,

Start with your mom. Tell her that because of your budget, you and your fiance are only inviting immediate family. Make it CLEAR that this includes her and her husband, but doesn’t include her new extended family. Be nice, but stay firm. She will, hopefully, spread the word. If one of your new cousins asks again, tell them the same thing, that the wedding has to be small, so you’re only inviting immediate family. Be gracious and kind, in the “We wish we could invite more people, but we can’t.” If they keep pushing, repeat it, until you can safely change the subject.

Do you have a burning wedding question? Email me or give me a call and let me know what's up! And if you would like more useful wedding advice, grab my tip sheet, The Ten Things You Need to Know About Your Wedding.

See you at the end of the aisle, 

Liz Coopersmith
Silver Charm Events
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