Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Ask Liz: MOHs Gone Wild and Gift Gathering Vessels

Courtesy of BHLDN
Never had a question from a wedding guest before...

Dear Liz:

One of my college friends is getting married in a few weeks, and I'm having some issues with a mutual friend of hers, the Maid of Honor. The MOH has been helping her a lot with the wedding planning over the past few months, too. The bridal shower is this upcoming weekend, and I told MOH that I was going to be out of town for a couple of days, and my cell phone was going to be turned off for most of that time. But I did tell her that I was going to the shower, and I would happily contribute to the party, and I was all set. But, when I did turn my phone on, she'd left several horrible messages on my voicemail demanding that I call her back, demanding that I show up and help pay for the shower, even though I'd already said that I would, one message telling me that I was privileged to even be invited to the wedding, "since there were a lot more people who she should have invited," instead of me. Needless to say, I was pretty hurt by this, and I haven't called her back, yet. I don't want to talk to her, and now I'm not sure I should even go to the shower or the wedding. I haven't heard anything from the Bride, just the MOH. What should I do?


Bruised and Bewildered,

Dear Bruised,

Wow. I'm so sorry this happened to you, but it is a truth universally recognized that weddings make people do the wacky. I will say that the MOH is probably feeling lots and lots of pressure to make this a great experience for her friend, and that can be, umm, emotionally challenging sometimes. But that's no excuse for her behavior. I don't know if she forgot you told her your phone would be off or didn't believe you, or forgot you were leaving, but thats just wrong. The bride should have invited other people? NO. That's beyond rude, and completely uncalled for. Someone needs to take a deep breath and calm down. As I told one of my interns this summer, we're planning a party, not re-invading Baghdad.

What you have to remember, though, is that this wedding is about her, it's about your friend, The Bride. She wants you at her wedding, or else she wouldn't have invited you. I'm assuming she had some control over the shower guest list, too. You said you'd be there, so you should be there. Just like you said you would. And when you get there, focus on The Bride, and focus on having fun with the Bride, and making sure she has a good time. As far as the MOH, I wouldn't make the first move. If she does confront you, just confirm that you told her what your deal was this week, and that you were unavailable to return her messages. If you do decide to call her on the voicemails, be aware that you both will probably still be in Emotionally Challenged Zone (ECZ, tm Liz) and that conversation might not go the way you want it to. But this wedding, this shower, this week is not about the MOH, it's about you and The Bride. Good luck.

Dear Liz,

 I was wondering if you knew anyone who used an actual mailbox as their card box. I thought of the idea and loved it and when I looked on Pinterest it looked like I wasn't the first one, but my fiancé thinks the big cards will cause a problem and not all of our guests will be able to fit their cards in there. (We are inviting 166 guests) thanks for any help!


Card Stocked

Dear Stocked,

I've definitely seen mailboxes work as gift card boxes, and it's a great idea. First of all, obviously, get a big one! Put it on a table that has plenty of room around the box.  Guests can put larger cards and gifts next to it or around it, and you're good to go. Here's a link on Pinterest if you're looking for different decorating options.

What do you think of my advice? Do you have any to add? Let me know in the comments below.
And if you have a wedding related question of your own, email me at liz@silvercharmevents.com.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith
Silver Charm Events

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