Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Owning Your Wedding, Some More (Los Angeles Wedding Planner)

Amy Rubin Flett, Pinwheel Designs
I've been thinking about my Ask Liz column last week, especially the question about how to deal people who are constantly criticizing your wedding choices. And the only advice I could, or would ever give her is to own it. Tell, them (whomever "They" are) This is the wedding you're going to have. This is the wedding you want, the wedding you love, the best wedding you could have.  Say it as many times as you have to, and learn to believe it yourself. If you're okay with how it's going down, own your wedding. It's yours.

At Camp Mighty, I met a woman on my team who was trying to figure out how to plan the wedding she wanted - $3,000 wedding budget,  no more than 15 guests. She had other choices - family that could give them the barn in their backyard (Hah! IRONY), but that came with conditions, like, more work and money spent on everyone's part to make it happen, and inviting more people because of family politics. She wanted an outdoor ceremony, and dinner in a restaurant, and then she wanted to go dancing afterward. She'd even found a park that even had an amphitheatre, so they wouldn't have to bring in chairs. But maybe she should go with the barn?

Here comes Tough Love Liz: You're going to spend all this money and all this time on one day, and you're not going to get what you want? Seriously? That's crazy talk.

And we come up with so many excuses for not getting what we want, don't we? Your parents want this other thing. And maybe they're right. I can't afford this thing over here...can I? What I want isn't what weddings are supposed to look like. I don't have the time or resources to figure out how to make it work.  And most of all, what is everyone going to think about the wedding I want to have? They will judge you, do you really want to deal with that? And besides which, you don't know how and where to get started on making it happen. It would be easier to settle, for something that you don't want.

Easier for whom, exactly?

I told her to go for the amphitheater, and the restaurant, and then dance, dance, dance.  If your mind is spinning trying to figure out where to get started, and what to do, and what to do after that, Stop focusing on the "forest", so to speak,  "How am I going to find everything that I need?"  and focus on the "trees," each piece of the puzzle. Start at the beginning of your wedding, with the ceremony. Where do you want that to happen? What is it going to look like, what do you need to bring in? Ask plenty of questions of whoever is in charge, especially, "Is there anything else I need to know?" Then move onto the reception, and what looks like to you. Then move on to photography, cake, favors, the nearest dance club, whatever it is that you want to build the wonderful, beautiful day that you didn't have to settle for. You will find what you need, and you have plenty of time to do it.

Own your wedding. People can't argue with your truth. And, honestly, it gives them cover - "Nothing I can do about it, it's her wedding, and this is how she wanted to do it."

Damn right.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith
Silver Charm Events

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