Sunday, December 09, 2012

Ask Liz: Chairs and Buggy SILs (Los Angeles Wedding Planner)

Every Friday, I write an advice column for The Broke-Ass Bride, one of the best places on line for wedding planning, spend splurge or save:

If you don’t want her here, let her know. (Photo by Beth Herzhaft)
Dear Liz,
My fiance and I just got engaged at Thanksgiving, and although we’re probably looking at a year and a half before we get to walk down the aisle, we’re already having discussions about our wedding party and other ceremony things. I told him that I’ve already asked my sister and my best friend to be my Maid and Matron of Honor (my co-MOHs, if you will), and three close friends from college to be my bridesmaids. He comes from a large family, and has three brothers and one sister. In the past year or so, his 19-year-old sister has become “obsessed” (his words, not mine) with me, following me around and texting me for hours on end. She’s even made plans for us to have a girl’s day over her winter break from college. We’re not super close, but I don’t mind hanging out with her, and I understand that she probably just wants a girl to hang out with since she still lives at home with two of her four brothers. My fiance is very understanding, and says I don’t have to hang out if I don’t want to, and tells me its ok to not respond to every text.
My fiance’s two best friends and three brothers will be his groomsmen. However, the problem is I’m kind of worried that his sister is expecting to be a bridesmaid. While we were discussing our party, he asked me if his sister would be one of my bridesmaids, and I just said I wasn’t sure. She is a nice girl, but she’s still very immature. She’d rather stay buried in a book or glued to a video game than socialize with people, and is very prone to yelling and tantrums. Sometimes if she gets even a little upset with one of her brothers, she’ll slap them on the arm and storm off. Any non-traditional idea I’ve mentioned about the wedding or, really, anything in general, she says is “weird.” Basically, she acts much younger than 19 years old. 
I would like to have her participate in some way at our wedding, and have her there for a little bit while I’m getting ready with hair, makeup, etc. But, I just don’t see her as a bridesmaid. I want to be able to enjoy our wedding day with all of our party, but it would be hard to do that with one bridesmaid critiquing our plans or attached to her Nintendo DS, making it an awkward situation for the rest of my bridesmaids. Should I ask her to be a bridesmaid and hope for the best? What should I do if she’s already expecting to be one?

Growing Older But Not Up

Click here to find out what I told her to do. Are you in a similiar situation? Go to the comments and let us know how you resolved it, or what you think of my advice.

See you at the end of the aisle, 

Liz Coopersmith
Silver Charm Events
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