Thursday, November 22, 2012

Ask Liz Follow-Up: What's Right vs. What's Right for You (Los Angeles Wedding Planner)

You Know What You Want to Do. What Do You Need In Order to Do it?
(Photo: Snippet and Ink)

I checked in on my "Ask Liz" column from last Friday, and there was a comment basically criticizing me for telling the Bride to go ahead and invite her sucky co-workers. "If you don't get along with someone and they're not in your immediate family, you have no obligation to invite them to your wedding!"
And this is true. You don't have an "obligation" to invite people you don't want at your wedding. But it's also beside the point. What is the point? Figuring out what the right decision is for you. There are no "have to haves" in wedding planning. There is only want you want to have, and what are the best choices for you, in your situation.
I've had a slew of these type of questions over the past few weeks, both in the column, and in real life with my own brides. Difficult parents, difficult uncles and cousins, difficult co-workers. And all these letters end with the question, "I really feel like I should invite them, even though it could be horrible, should I?"
Here's the thing - if you feel that you should invite them, for whatever reason, then you should invite them. If you feel that you shouldn't invite them, then don't invite them.
But own it.
It's your decision.  Figure out the best way to make it work for you (which is where I usually come in), and own whatever consequences happen afterward. If you're not willing to face the consequences, then don't do it. That's the part that makes you an adult. Not why you do something, but how you handle the decision.

Happy Thanksgiving and I'll See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith
Silver Charm Events
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