Saturday, February 18, 2012

Wedding Stress = It's either The Money or Your Family

At least, that's where most of the stress seems to come from. Money seems to be the biggest issue, no matter what your budget is. You have THIS much to spend, and how do you spend it so you can have the wedding you want? You are constantly faced with choices - how do you make the right ones? And everyone has an opinion on what you should do, which is where your family comes in, most of the time.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: If I could change one thing for you, it would be to make your family stop acting like your family while you're planning your wedding. But they won't, and that's something you have to deal with. It's also a great opportunity to deal with it differently. At this point, you know what's going to lead to an argument, so don't go there. Try something else: Affirm what you want calmly ("I really like this and want this"), and walk away. You might have to do it a few times, but keep doing it. First of all, it's true. Second of all, you're going to get your way, anyway, so why start a fight? And don't give into blackmail. If the only way they will help you out financially is if you do it their way, decline. Or try guilt - this is your wedding, and it's the one day you get to celebrate who the two of you are as a couple. Turnabout in this case, is fair play. The important thing is to respond and then leave, either physically, or just change the subject. Do NOT try and make your family understand. They won't.

The money...The money. The important thing is not to focus on what you don't have, but make the most out of what you DO have. In this Wedding World there is a ton of inspiration out there, and a ton of choices. If you find something that you really, really want, keep looking until you find out how to get it in a way that you can afford it. The key is to focus on what you're passionate about, and then hang in there. Cut corners elsewhere so you can get that thing you're in love with. Buy the Christian Louboutin on ebay. Buy Vera Wang on ebay. Stalk Ask for help. Hell, ask ME for help - whether you need a wedding coordinator or not, I can certainly point you in the direction of reasonably priced letterpress invites (Hint: Crane & Co is having a sale!). Do you what you can with what you have, where you are.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith
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